To make exceptional whiskey that supports comedians and spreads laughter throughout the world
"It comes down to why you have a drink. For us, it’s simple. We want to relax and laugh. There really is no better combination: Whiskey and Comedy."
Test 2
A GREAT WHISKEY
Made for Laughs
No Bullshit
On Indiana's side of the Kentucky border, we distill world class rye bourbon without Kentucky's pomp & markup
A Whiskey meant for a revelrous night: laughing, singing, dancing, and playful rubbing
29% Rye
4% Malted Barley
67% Corn
A COMEDY ENGINE
Made for Laughs
Supporting Comedians
We profit share with ALL of our featured comedians. Plain and simple. Our goal is to find a hilarious ix of voices to share on a global platform.
Not every comedian will be a superstar, but there’s a deep bench of great talent. Yet, the economics for up-and-comers are brutal. That's why we want to create this new revenue stream."
Test Writing 1
MISSION
1
WHISKEY
2
COMEDY
3
SEE WHISKEY
“Ain’t nothin’ smooth as Pants Water goin’ down on a Friday night.” --- “Don’t blame me, blame that dang Pants Water. It talks louder’n I do.” --- “He showed up late, smellin’ like regret and Pants Water.” --- “Y’all stop off and grab some of that Pants Water before showin’ up.” --- “Yur gonna hafta slow things down now—I done had me a bit too much Pants Water last night.” --- “We went fishin’ but caught nothin’ but a buzz off that Pants Water.” ---
“Ain’t nothin’ smooth as Pants Water goin’ down on a Friday night.” --- “Don’t blame me, blame that dang Pants Water. It talks louder’n I do.” --- “He showed up late, smellin’ like regret and Pants Water.” --- “Y’all stop off and grab some of that Pants Water before showin’ up.” --- “Yur gonna hafta slow things down now—I done had me a bit too much Pants Water last night.” --- “We went fishin’ but caught nothin’ but a buzz off that Pants Water.” ---
“We wasn’t fightin’—we was discussin’ real loud after sharin’ some Pants Water.” --- “If she’s drinkin’ Pants Water, you best be on your best behavior or your worst—depends on the night. --- Just gimme my chair, my dog, and a bottle of Pants Water—I’ll Live happy.” --- “You bring the firewood, I’ll bring the Pants Water. Let’s get foolish.” --- “Lord help me, I kissed my cousin’s friend last night… again. Blame the Pants Water.” --- “We ran outta gas but not outta Pants Water—so technically we still made it.” ---
“We wasn’t fightin’—we was discussin’ real loud after sharin’ some Pants Water.” --- “If she’s drinkin’ Pants Water, you best be on your best behavior or your worst—depends on the night. --- Just gimme my chair, my dog, and a bottle of Pants Water—I’ll Live happy.” --- “You bring the firewood, I’ll bring the Pants Water. Let’s get foolish.” --- “Lord help me, I kissed my cousin’s friend last night… again. Blame the Pants Water.” --- “We ran outta gas but not outta Pants Water—so technically we still made it.” ---
“I don’t trust a man who don’t drink Pants Water or laugh at fart jokes.” --- “She poured me three fingers of Pants Water and winked—I proposed right there.” --- “You ever cried into a bottle of Pants Water? It's cheaper than therapy and tastes better too.” --- “He don’t dance, ‘cept when the Pants Water hits. Then he’s twirlin’ like a damn tornado.” --- “You know it’s a real party when someone’s pants are off and the Pants Water’s gone.” ---
“I don’t trust a man who don’t drink Pants Water or laugh at fart jokes.” --- “She poured me three fingers of Pants Water and winked—I proposed right there.” --- “You ever cried into a bottle of Pants Water? It's cheaper than therapy and tastes better too.” --- “He don’t dance, ‘cept when the Pants Water hits. Then he’s twirlin’ like a damn tornado.” --- “You know it’s a real party when someone’s pants are off and the Pants Water’s gone.” ---
Learn More
A GREAT WHISKEY
Made for Laughs
A Strange Brand
Made for Laughs
A COMEDY ENGINE
Made for Laughs
MISSION
1
WHISKEY
2
COMEDY
3
Our Mission
To make exceptional whiskey that supports comedians and spreads laughter throughout the world
"It comes down to why you have a drink. For us, it’s simple. We want to relax and laugh. There really is no better combination: Whiskey and Comedy."
No Bullshit
On Indiana's side of the Kentucky border, we distill world class rye bourbon without Kentucky's pomp & markup
"A Whiskey meant for a revelrous night: laughing, singing, dancing, and playful rubbing"
Supporting Comedians
We profit share with ALL of our featured comedians. Plain and simple. Our goal is to find a hilarious ix of voices to share on a global platform.
Not every comedian will be a superstar, but there’s a deep bench of great talent. Yet, the economics for up-and-comers are brutal. That's why we want to create this new revenue stream."
Pants Water Whiskey
High Rye Bourbon
With bourbon’s charm and rye’s moxie, this rewarding whiskey is a staple you’ll reach for again and again
Buy whiskey
Pants Water STRONG Whiskey
High Rye Bourbon
CAMPING PROOF
59% Alc - 118 Proof
Need more kick? Something stronger? Maybe you there isn't enough room in the bag? Grab our whiskey in "Camping Proof".
Buy whiskey
Pants Water
Stand-Up
COMEDY
Comic's Cup Invitational
Comedians bring their best 10-minute sets, you decide who takes the crown.
Battling for pride, bragging rights, and...
💰 Prize money 💵 Profit-sharing 🥃 A sponsored whiskey line 📈 Equity in Pants Water itself
Contact Us
COMMUNITY POLICY
TERMS & CONDITIONS
PRIVACY POLICY
RESPONSIBILITY.ORG
DRINKIQ
SHIPPING & RETURNS
PLEASE DO NOT SHARE WITH ANYONE UNDER THE LEGAL PURCHASE AGE FOR ALCOHOL. DRINK RESPONSIBLY. DON’T DRINK & DRIVE.
